If Father of the Bride was set in Scotland

Father of the bride
What if Annie and Bryan had chosen to marry at Eilean Donan castle instead?

Spending Father’s Day with your dad? Then there’s no better time to revisit 90’s classic Father of the Bride. The film more than stands the test of time with relatable family tensions, ‘sorry, what?!’ prices for cakes/catering and a night in the cells for someone along the way – although these days it’s more likely to be one of the stags than the bride’s dad!

Despite all this, bride-to-be Annie Banks and her fiancé Bryan MacKenzie, along with her mum Nina, dad George and little brother Matty, remind us what weddings are all about: everyone you love coming together and having an amazing time. But what if the iconic flick was set in Scotland in 2016?

1. The happy couple wouldn’t meet in Rome during a semester abroad, they would winch in the never-ending bar queue at T in the Park.

2. Instead of producing sneakers, George’s company would be a call centre pushing PPI claims.

3. The MacKenzies wouldn’t have a pool in their Bel Air mansion (which would be in Morningside, FYI), but George would fall into their swanky inflatable Lay-Z spa after being terrorised by their staffies when snooping around.

4. In the US version, George is arrested for having a breakdown in the supermarket because hotdogs are sold in packets of eight, but you can only buy 12 buns. He’d definitely kick off about four square sausages being not enough for packs of six well-fired rolls.

5. Annie would have the exact same style, but it looks like she’d be a hipster:

Father of the bride 2
From left: Hooked on Houses; Fanpop; Fanpop; Avelyman

6. Bryan wouldn’t gift Annie a blender, causing their first big fight, he’d buy her a Nutribullet and she’d be raging because she mentioned getting one if she went to Slimming World and now she thinks Bryan wants her to go to Slimming World.

7. Their garden wouldn’t be big enough to hold a marquee wedding at home, but they’d be spoiled for choice as America doesn’t even come close to Scotland when it comes to beautiful, historic venues.

8. George’s knock-off ‘is-it-black-or-blue?’ suit would be a Robertson tartan kilt outfit that everyone keeps mistaking for the Rangers tartan.

9. He’d have scored this kilt outfit from a wee guy at the Barras.

10. When the police show up in the film, it’s because the wedding guests have blocked off the street with their cars. This would never happen here – when was the last time you decided to stay sober and take your car to a wedding?

11. Instead, the police would show up because the neighbours complained about noise. Specifically, the ‘mad half hour’ when all the hits get played: ‘Bits ‘n Pieces’, ‘Set You Free’, ‘Pretty Green Eyes’, or anything by Scooter.

12. Young Matty and his friends wouldn’t have volunteered to move the cars either, because they’d be round the back of the marquee sharing a bottle of MD20/20 procured from someone’s older brother.

13. In the closing scene, proud parents George and Nina slow dance to ‘The Way You Look Tonight’. Everybody knows the end of the party is only heralded by ‘Loch Lomond’ or doing the slosh to ‘Beautiful Sunday’.