Discover four unusual wedding readings chosen by Scottish celebrants, with funny, romantic and dog-lover-friendly ideas for a personal ceremony
Looking for a wedding reading that feels personal without sounding predictable? Four Scottish humanist celebrants share the funny, heartfelt and alternative ceremony readings they return to time and again.
Choosing a wedding reading can be surprisingly difficult. You want words that reflect your relationship, sound natural when spoken aloud and fit the atmosphere you are trying to create – but perhaps without choosing something your guests have heard at every other wedding.
To make the search easier, we asked four Scottish celebrants to recommend wedding readings that are warm, memorable and a little different from the usual choices.
1. Marriage, Anon
George McLean of Fuze Ceremonies recommends this light-hearted poem for couples who do not want their ceremony to feel too formal or serious.
“I just love how this poem so cleverly describes what a marriage is going to be like. It’s always fun to watch the guests’ reactions while I read it one out, as almost all the married couples in the room will be nodding in agreement – and of course the last sentence is just so funny and definitely lightens the mood in the ceremony room even more.”
Marriage is about giving and taking
And forging and forsaking
Kissing and loving and pushing and shoving
Caring and sharing and screaming and swearing
About being together whatever the weather
About being driven to the end of your tether
About sweetness and kindness
And wisdom and blindness
It’s about being strong when you’re feeling quite weak
It’s about saying nothing when you’re dying to speak
It’s about being wrong when you know you are right
It’s about giving in, before there’s a fight
It’s about you two living as cheaply as one
(you can give us a call, if you know how that’s done!)
Never heeding advice that was always well meant
Never counting the cost until it’s all spent
And for you two today it’s about to begin
And for all of the effort you both have to put in
Some days filled with joy, and some days with sadness
Too late, you’ll discover that marriage is MADNESS!
Find out more about George McLean and his approach to personal humanist wedding ceremonies
George McLean at Fuze Ceremonies (Photo: Lifetime Photography)
2. Union, Robert Fulghum
Tasha Leung, also known as Tasha the Celebrant, recommends Union because it captures the significance of getting married without relying on overly elaborate or old-fashioned language.
“One of my favourite ‘traditional’ readings is ‘Union’ by Robert Fulghum – probably because it doesn’t feel typically ‘traditional’, as it’s so accessible (the language is easy to understand) and it’s so relatable. It’s a really lovely one for a close friend or family member to read for you.”
Here’s a sample:
“Look at one another and remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another – acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, dancing partner, even teacher, for you have learned much from one another these past few years. Shortly you shall say a few words that will take you across a threshold of life, and things between you will never quite be the same. For after today you shall say to the world – This is my husband. This is my wife.”
Check out this Scottish-Chinese wedding at Cottiers, Glasgow officiated by Tasha the Celebrant
3. These I Can Promise, Mark Twain
Often attributed online to Mark Twain, These I Can Promise is a brief reading about offering realistic, meaningful promises rather than guaranteeing a life free from difficulty. Craig Flowers from Independent Humanist Ceremonies shares why it's one of his favourites:
“I always feel that the best readings are ones that have been written by someone close to the couple, but not everyone is fortunate enough to know someone who can do that! So, this is one that I really enjoy. I always prefer the quirkier ones!”
“I cannot promise you a life of sunshine;
I cannot promise riches, wealth or gold;
I cannot promise you an easy pathway
That leads away from change or growing old.
But I can promise all my heart’s devotion
A smile to chase away your tears of sorrow;
A love that’s ever true and ever growing;
A hand to hold in yours through each tomorrow.”
Find out more about Craig Flowers from Independent Humanist Ceremonies
Photo: Canvas and Peach Studios
4. How Falling in Love is Like Owning a Dog, Taylor Mali
Humanist Society Scotland celebrant Kate Strachan recommends Taylor Mali’s poem for couples whose dog is an important part of their relationship.
“It’s great for dog lovers and light-hearted enough to raise a smile.”
Here’s a sample:
Sometimes love just wants to go out for a nice long walk. Because love loves exercise. It will run you around the block and leave you panting, breathless. Pull you in different directions at once, or wind itself around and around you until you’re all wound up and you cannot move. But love makes you meet people wherever you go. People who have nothing in common but love stop and talk to each other on the street. Throw things away and love will bring them back, again, and again, and again. But most of all, love needs love, lots of it. And in return, love loves you and never stops.
Wedding reading FAQs
What is a wedding ceremony reading?
A wedding reading is a poem, passage, letter, religious text or piece of original writing spoken during the ceremony. It can be read by a guest, the celebrant or one of the couple.
How long should a wedding reading be?
Most wedding readings should take approximately one to three minutes when spoken aloud. Time the reading at a natural pace rather than relying on its word count, as nerves and emotion can make people speak more slowly.
How many readings should you have at a wedding?
One or two readings are usually enough. Too many can interrupt the flow of the ceremony, particularly if they communicate similar messages.
When choosing two readings, consider using contrasting tones – perhaps one funny piece and one more heartfelt option.
Who should give a wedding reading?
Choose someone who is comfortable speaking in front of your guests and whose personality suits the reading.
Parents, grandparents, siblings and close friends are popular choices, but children can also take part with a short, age-appropriate passage.
Can you include a reading in a Scottish wedding ceremony?
Readings can form part of many civil, humanist, religious and belief ceremonies in Scotland. The exact content permitted may depend on the person or organisation conducting the ceremony, so send your chosen text to your registrar, celebrant or officiant for approval well before the wedding.
Does a wedding reading have to be romantic?
Not at all. A reading can be funny, nostalgic, philosophical or inspired by a shared interest. It could come from a favourite book, film, television programme or song, or be written especially for the couple.
Can a friend write an original wedding reading?
Yes. An original reading can be one of the most personal parts of the ceremony. Ask the writer to keep it focused on the couple, avoid private jokes that most guests will not understand and practise reading it aloud before the wedding.
Still searching for the right words? Explore our favourite wedding readings here.
