Staring at a blank wedding card and suddenly forgetting every nice thing you’ve ever thought about the couple? You’re not alone. Here’s what to write and what to avoid, according to the experts
You’ve chosen the card, you’ve bought the gift, you’ve even remembered to take the price sticker off the back (or if you hadn’t, you have now, you’re welcome).
Now comes the hard part: what to write in the card.
If all that comes to mind is Emily Gilmore’s immortal “You congratulate the groom. You offer the bride best wishes” or a standard “Congratulations! Have a lovely day!”, take some comfort in the fact that plenty of us are in the same boat.
Research commissioned by Moonpig found that more than half of Brits (55%) admit they have struggled with at least one aspect of wedding message writing, while 30% admitted defaulting to a simple “congratulations” because they couldn’t think of anything else to say. 8% have even turned to AI for inspiration.
The good news is that you don’t need to become a poet to write a good wedding card message. Let’s get into it.
What should you write in a wedding card?
A good wedding-card message follows a simple formula:
Congratulate them + say something personal + wish them well + sign off.
The personal bit is what stops your message from sounding like it came straight from the inside of a pre-written supermarket card. To nail it, wedding speech expert and author Heidi Ellert-McDermott recommends what she calls the “wrong couple” test: read your message back and ask whether you could put it into somebody else’s wedding card without changing anything. If you could, it probably needs something more personal.
For example, rather than writing: “You’re perfect together. Wishing you a lifetime of happiness,” which could go in any wedding card, write something specific to the couple getting married. Heidi suggests: “I’ve never seen Jamie laugh as much as he has since meeting you” – far more personal.
More than half of Brits admit they have struggled with at least one aspect of wedding message writing
Stuck? Start with one of these prompts
Rather than copying a ready-made wedding-card message, use one of these prompts as a jumping-off point and fill in the bit only you could know:
If you’re close friends:
“When I think of the two of you, I always think of…”
“I knew this was serious when…”
“One of my favourite things about you together is…”
If you’re writing to your best friend:
“I’ve watched you through [shared stage of life], and seeing you now…”
“The thing I love most about seeing you with [name] is…”
“You’ve always been someone who…, and I love that [name]…”
If you’re writing to your sibling:
“From [very specific childhood memory] to today…”
“I never thought the person who used to [specific sibling habit] would…”
“The thing I’m happiest about is seeing you with someone who…”
If you’re a parent:
“We’ve loved watching you become…”
“One of the things we’ve noticed since [partner] came into your life is…”
“We’ll always remember when you first told us about…”
What not to write in a wedding card
This is where things can go a little off-piste. Moonpig’s research found that 28% of respondents thought writing “Good luck!” was acceptable. Another 8% were comfortable with “I give it a year”, while 6% thought a divorce joke was fair game.
We’re going to suggest… perhaps not.
Their wider list of apparently acceptable wedding-card material also included unsolicited relationship advice, jokes about who “wears the trousers”, comments about one partner being out of the other’s league and advice about having children. Yikes.
Our rule is simple: if there’s even a small chance the couple will read it and not find your humorous dig amusing, leave it out. That includes mentions of exes, divorce predictions, fertility, money, wedding costs or anything that relies on poking too much fun at one half of the couple.
Of course, only you can know your relationship with the couple, but we largely advise playing it safe on this one.
Moonpig’s research found that 28% of respondents thought writing “Good luck!” in a wedding card was acceptable.
What if you can’t attend the wedding?
Sending a card in the post instead? You can acknowledge that without dwelling on it. Try this simple structure:
Say you’re sorry to miss it + mention something specific about the couple or wedding + send a genuine wish.
For example, rather than: “Sorry we can’t be there. Hope you have a lovely day,” try something like “We’re so sad to miss it – especially after hearing about the plans for that ceilidh! We’ll be raising a glass to you both from afar.”
Is “congratulations” enough for a wedding card?
Technically, yes, but if you know the couple reasonably well, adding just one specific sentence will make the card feel considerably more thoughtful.
Moonpig’s analysis of more than 74,000 UK wedding cards created in 2025 found that “congratulations” was the most commonly used word, while traditional phrases around happiness and the “happy couple” were also among the favourites.
There’s nothing wrong with the classics; they just work better with something that sounds like it came from you.
How do you make a wedding-card message feel personal?
Think small rather than profound – you don’t need to produce a line worthy of a Richard Curtis finale for it to be meaningful.
Heidi suggests thinking about what the couple is like together: do they make each other sillier, calmer, braver, more adventurous? What changes when they’re together? That dynamic can give you the most personal sentence in the whole card.
Try asking yourself: what would make them smile if they found this card again on their 10th wedding anniversary? Probably not “Congratulations on your special day.”
Moonpig’s analysis of more than 74,000 UK wedding cards created in 2025 found that “congratulations” was the most commonly used word
A foolproof formula for writing your own wedding card message
Still staring at the blank page? Try this:
“Congratulations to you both. [Something specific about them]. Wishing you [something genuine for their future]. Lots of love, [your name].”
For example:
“Congratulations to you both. It’s been so lovely watching you build such a fun, happy life together. Wishing you plenty more adventures, laughter and very long Sunday lunches. Lots of love, [name].”
There you go, card sorted. Now all you need to do is remember to take it to the wedding.
