American grooms put food and family first at intimate Schloss Roxburghe wedding

Rory and Tom chose not to have a first dance or a traditional evening reception. Instead, their destination wedding at a country house and estate in the Scottish Borders was intimate, thoughtful and personal, bringing 36 of their closest people together from America for a celebration centred around vows, food and one very memorable cake-cutting moment.

Wedding highlights at a glance
Wedding venue | Schloss Roxburghe, Scottish Borders
Date | 14th February 2026
Photography | Derek Christie Photography
Guests | 36
Style | Intimate Scottish destination wedding with greenery, candles and Scottish tweed suits

A relaxed start to a Valentine’s Day wedding

The celebrations began the night before the wedding, when Rory and Tom took all 36 guests to Scott’s of Kelso, just a short drive from Schloss Roxburghe (where the wedding itself took place).

“We rented out the place for dinner on 13th February, the night before Valentine’s Day, and had a huge dinner that featured all sorts of local meat,” they tell us. “It was really delicious. The staff were so friendly as well. We cannot recommend this enough.”

With the couple and their guests all flying in from the States, the evening gave everyone a chance to settle into the Scottish Borders before the wedding day itself.

The morning itself was deliberately slow and “actually super relaxing,” they say. “We woke up late and spent some time chatting with family and guests over a long breakfast. We were pretty intentional about not planning anything for the morning of the ceremony.”

A Valentine's Day ceremony in the Schloss Roxburghe conservatory

The ceremony took place in the glass conservatory at Schloss Roxburghe on the afternoon of Valentine’s Day.

“We kept decorations to mostly greenery and candles because the space is already so beautiful on its own,” the couple explain.

“A special thank you to Ariane Halos at Schloss Roxburghe and Kelly Vaughan-Clinkscale of Wildflower & Willow for making the already incredible space really look like something out of a fantasy book. It was more than we could have dreamed up.

“We look back at the photos and are stunned by how gorgeous the whole thing was.”

David Stoker played and sang 'Hold My Hand' by Lady Gaga as each groom was walked down the aisle by his mother. For the recessional, the couple chose 'Simply the Best' by Tina Turner.

“The ceremony was short and sweet – exactly what we wanted,” they say. “We didn’t have wedding parties, but we did ask our close friends to officiate and do some readings during the ceremony.”

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Personal vows and meaningful readings

While there were nerves on the day, Rory and Tom say they felt different from the logistical worries that came with planning a wedding from another country.

“The nerves we felt the day of the wedding were more to do with getting through our vows,” they say. "We didn’t have to sweat the small stuff anymore. We could just focus on each other.”

The couple wrote their own vows, keeping them secret until the ceremony, and also each chose a reading.

Tom selected an excerpt from Sex, Economy, Freedom & Community by Wendell Berry, read by his best friend from college, Sara. Rory chose an excerpt from Captain Corelli’s Mandolin by Louis de Bernières, read by his college roommate Kyle.

“I really wanted to capture something that said, ‘marriage is not this perfect, blissful thing,'" Rory says. “We’re a gay couple getting married in our mid-30s and the last thing we wanted to convey is that we expect marriage to be a straight, easy path to total bliss and fulfilment.

“Our wedding day certainly felt like that, but we’ve already dated for over seven years and lived together for five of those years. We understand the hidden beauty of a bond like marriage, and we understand that it is unique to us.”

Ceremonies 101: everything you need to know to plan your wedding ceremony in Scotland 

A drinks reception designed with no standing around

After the ceremony, the drinks reception had a few very practical purposes – “mainly allowing folks to start drinking before dinner,” the couple laugh.

“It also allowed the venue's incredible support staff to turn around the conservatory room from ceremony to dinner. And it allowed all of our friends and family to get individual photos with us.”

That clever use of time came thanks to photographer Derek Christie. “Honestly, we couldn’t have done this day without him.”

A food-focused wedding reception with one long table

“The 'traditional' reception wasn’t something we wanted for our wedding,” they say. “Our vision was to have everyone seated at one table, and I think we were pretty successful in that,” they say. “These people are the most important people in our life and we wanted to focus on the meal as the central part of the wedding."

“This is probably the last time that we’ll all have a meal together again in the same place.”

The menu reflected the setting, with food chosen from Schloss Roxburghe’s local menu. Guests had fried artichoke salad to start, followed by local beef cheek, North Sea cod or pumpkin gnocchi.

After the meal, a small group braved the February cold for more drinks and dancing by the fire outside, before eventually retreating back into the warmth of the castle fireplaces.

A simple wedding cake that tasted amazing

The wedding cake was one detail where Rory and Tom were very clear on what they wanted.

“We had three requirements for our baker, Maria at Bakery Sugar Box. It must taste great. It cannot taste like a wedding cake that you don’t want to eat (we’ve all had one!). It can be simple in design, because we’re not really drawn to anything over-the-top. And it cannot go home with us.”

Maria created a vanilla sponge with raspberry jam and (their favourite element) cream cheese icing. “We ate the whole thing, she really nailed it.”

The cake also provided one of the funniest moments of the day.

“Rory seemed very confused about the cake-cutting process,” Tom reveals. “Nobody ever thinks to practise this part – certainly we hadn’t.

“We cut small slices of cake and Rory immediately goes to put a small piece in his own mouth. The entire room was a chorus of ‘NO!’”

"Tom’s face was incredulous," Rory laughs.

“Ultimately, Rory did not eat his own piece of cake,” Tom says, “but it was a close call and I think it’s probably the moment that people, ourselves included, will remember most fondly.”

Scottish tweed suits and thoughtful local details

“Kilts, for us, were easy to say no to. And believe us, every single person will ask you if you're wearing on when you tell them you’re having a destination wedding in Scotland.”

Instead, they used the occasion as an excuse to buy new Scottish tweed suits. “We wanted as many parts of our ceremony to be from Scotland as possible without feeling like we were appropriating too much.

A friend of the family gifted the couple a quaich. “We were really touched by this,” they say. “We learned the stories of what the drinking bowl was used for and what it symbolises. I think it’s something we’ll keep forever.”

Hire or buy? The Scottish groom’s guide to kilts and wedding suits 

Grooms’ top tips

“Let your vendors do what they do best,” say Rory and Tom. “We gave them only loose guidelines – but we didn’t get down to the nitty-gritty with folks and kept the micromanaging to a minimum. Chances are, they do it better.

“We were blown away by the end result – the beauty, the food, the pictures, the music – all of it.” 

And their top bit of styling advice? “Candles. Put as many tapered candles as you can on the tables. It really makes the pictures and memories special.”

Supplier list

Venue Schloss Roxburghe
Photographer Derek Christie
Groomswear Walker Slater
Cake Maria at Bakery Sugar Box
Wedding meal Schloss Roxburghe
Dinner the night before Scott's of Kelso
Flowers Wildflower and Willow
Décor Wildflower and Willow and Ariane Halos at Schloss Roxburghe
Rings Lindsay Walker, Nashville
Music David Stoker